What is a Bonus Dad?

The Breakdown: What is a Bonus Dad?

What is a bonus dad? Well, I’m a bonus dad. How did I get the name? Well, my bonus son dubbed me “bonus dad” after his mom and I got married this last May. I have to tell you though: it has a ring to it. If you’re not familiar with the term, it’s obviously a spinoff of the word stepdad or stepfather. After deciding to jump into this topic and offer my experience, I decided to look up the origin of the word “stepfather”.

Etymonline.com breaks down stepfather for us:

also step-father, “man who has married one’s mother after one’s father,” Middle English step-fader, from Old English steopfæder; see step- + father. Step-sire, now obsolete, is attested from c. 1300.

stepfather | Etymology, origin and meaning of stepfather by etymonline

If you are a bonus dad and understand what this title entails, cool! It could take on a completely different meaning for you. I’ve been a dad before and I’m currently starting over again at 45. My wife is pregnant, now what? Much of what you’ll read on this site is meant for dads, bonus dads and men to come and find a connection. And though we all may be similar in many ways; we can still have very specific life experiences based on our life experiences. So, with that, I offer my personal experience on what it is to be a bonus dad.

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What is a Bonus Dad?

A Bonus Dad is a Friend

Coming into a blended family can be a tricky thing. For me, being a bonus dad means trying to be a friend first and foremost. Essentially, I treat being a father like I do any other aspect of life. I give respect as long as it is given. I’m a registered nurse and occasionally work on a child and adolescent unit where they’re clearly going through difficult times. My approach is treating them like an adult and trying to bring positivity and laughter to their lives in that moment. Personally, I consider myself a man’s man so getting along with tween or adolescent boys is a breeze. If you’re reading this, you could have more experience being a bonus dad to girls. With my wife expecting, I could become an expert on daughters! The trick is supporting mom in a way that she’s okay with. Lots of communication is key.

what is a bonus dad

A Supporter to Mom

So, being a supporter to mom is a continuation of being a friend to your bonus son or daughter. She and her kid were there before we came along so finding where you fit in can take some time. Be patient and be sure to keep that communication open, as I previously mentioned. I just try to do my best to ask what I can do. Full disclosure, I’m a sensitive guy and want to feel loved and supported. These needs can feel neglected at times when trying to fill the bonus dad roll. My wife and I have had plenty of arguments over this. Outside support and feedback can be a tool you’ll want to tap into and can be a vital resource to supporting mom and being the best bonus dad, you can be!

what is a bonus dad

A Bonus Dad is Patient

As with the majority of the content you’ll find here on this site, this article is coming from pure first-hand experience. If you’ve found this article because you’re a new bonus dad looking for answers, that’s great! You’ve probably already learned the virtue of patience. And it’s possible you’ve struggled with this. I certainly have. There’s this idea that we bring our life experiences and baggage to our relationships, right? As we age, patience and blending families can be more of a struggle, simply because you and your new wife are grown adults, set in your ways. You’ve surely heard the phrase “can’t teach an old dog new tricks”. This is at the heart of many growing pains in blended families. Everyone has them so just be patient.

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We Are unique

In 2023 life is pretty complicated. So, it doesn’t take lot of thought to see the complexities of blending a family and stepping up to the plate as a bonus dad. At times it is fulfilling but sometimes it’s not without hiccups. Therefore, it takes a unique man be a fill-in dad and help raise the next generation of competent youth. There is so much wrong with society that is rooted in failures surrounding the family unit. Imagine being a child splitting time between two households. This has to take a toll on a kid. I come from a broken home. However, I’m not unique in this. It has caused some problems in relationships that have required much attention and work. The goal of an adequate, special bonus dad is to prevent the cycle of dysfunction in future generations by providing stability to a child’s life and home.

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The Wrap Up: What is a bonus Dad?

A Bonus Dad is many things. And depending on your own experiences jumping into a blended family, maybe you’re able to identify with some of what I’ve shared here. You’re among many other things a friend, a supporter, you’re patient and you’re a unique rockstar for filling in for the future generation. Like much of the material you’ll read on this website, I offer my own unique life experiences so someone looking for answers can hopefully relate. I am far from perfect but wake up every day with the goal to do better and hopefully grow. I’ve made many mistakes along my personal growth journey, but one thing has been constant: I’ve never given up! The night is darkest before the dawn so fight on fellas and be the best Bonus Dad you can be! If you like what you’ve read here, please send me a message! -The Good Guy

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Thoughts from the Author

Well, I really appreciate you being here my friends. What is a bonus dad? It’s many things and very rewarding. If you have some experience being a father, I hope you could relate to some of what was written here. These articles are a blessing to me and offer an outlet to share my experiences with the world. Moreover, I invite you to check out the additional content on this site. For the father of the Lego fan check out The Best Lego Technic Sets. I’ve also written some personal posts related to growth and development. 5 Steps to Overcoming Porn Addiction and Finding Something To Live For Are important topics. Furthermore, Being A Late Bloomer and Future Tripping Ain’t a Good Thing can both offer inspiration to help you along your journey. God Bless!